drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
