Say something about gay babies.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
