I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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