i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
