Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
