Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
