P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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