I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
