dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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