the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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