We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
