Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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