Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
