I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
