I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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