Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
