ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
