Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
