officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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