because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
