so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
