am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
