Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
