U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
