I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
