Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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