It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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