We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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