i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
