we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
