And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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