theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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