But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
