She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i think my tv is drunk
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
this boner is exhausting
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
