If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do vagina's smell?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
