my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
