I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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