I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
