Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
tell me about the eggs
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
