you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
