If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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