Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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