The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
