Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
