she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
