JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
