Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.

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(510): View more from California

He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.

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(678): View more from Georgia

while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.

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(631): View more from New York

I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.

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(319): View more from Iowa

THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ

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(573): View more from Missouri

Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.

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