I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
