barbara walters just said penis...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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