I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
