You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
