do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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