dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
