so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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