JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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