Me too!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize