I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
